For Now
by Calculus and Broadway
Summary: 3x07 Spoilers. Finn realizes that while Rachel may love him, she doesn't see him in her future. Blaine and Finn bonding. Klaine and Finches pairings.


Pairings: Finchel, Klaine

Warnings: None

Spoilers: Through 3x07

Notes: Written for a prompt at the Glee Angst Meme.

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><p><strong>~For Now~<strong>

"Kurt told me I could find you here." Finn didn't look over, focusing on lifting the weights without letting them fall on his chest. It was more than he should be pressing, but the burn in his arm and shoulders and chest distracted him from the one in his heart. It wasn't until Blaine was standing at his shoulder that Finn bothered to respond at all.

"Get out, Anderson," He said. It didn't come out as fierce as he wanted, because his arms were threatening to buckle under the weight. He growled in frustration and set the stupid bar up on its resting spot. His feet slammed to the floor as he swung into a sitting position, glaring at his stepbrother's boyfriend. "No one wants you here anyway. Just get the fuck back to Dalton and your precious Warblers. None of this would have happened if you were here!"

"You can't blame me for this, Finn," Blaine said. It annoyed Finn to see that the other boy wasn't even slightly flustered. He wanted to lash out, and since his arms weren't responding to him, words were his only weapon. He'd never been good with them.

"Like hell I can! You stole the role in that stupid musical from Kurt. You say you love him, but you just keep hurting him. At least if you were at Dalton I wouldn't have to watch it." He saw the hurt flicker across Blaine's face, guessing that he'd hit a sore spot.

"That's not what this is about, and we both know it," Blaine said. "This is about Rachel. And the fact that she's –"

"Shut up!" Finn suddenly found strength because he was up on his feet and kicking over a stack of weights before he could stop himself. "Just shut up! You don't know anything."

And then he was standing in the basement of the Hummel house nearly two years ago and he felt like he'd been kicked because the breath just went out of him. "Fuck! I'm sorry. I didn't mean - You should just leave, Blaine."

"Okay. If you want to talk, you can find me. I know you hate me, Finn, but I know how you feel." Blaine was almost out the door before Finn changed his mind.

"Wait –" Blaine turned around. "What do you mean, you know how I feel? I thought you and Kurt…"

"Why don't you shower and we can talk?" Blaine suggested. Finn hesitated, then decided a shower would be nice. He smelled disgusting and maybe a shower would help the pain in his shoulders. In the end, he agreed and said he would meet Blaine in the choir room.

Twenty minutes later and two aspirin later, Finn walked into the empty choir room and took a seat at the piano. He was so busy trying to play the sheet music that was on the stand that he didn't notice Blaine walk in holding two coffee's. When he did see the short boy, he stopped.

"You shouldn't have stopped. I didn't know you were learning to play," Blaine said, handing one of the cups to Finn who took it suspiciously.

"I'm not. I have a hard time reading music so I thought it might help to play an instrument, but I couldn't afford one, and Mr. Schue said I could use this." He shrugged. They sipped their drinks in silence for a minute before Finn cleared his throat. Blaine didn't interrupt, just raising an eyebrow.

"What did you mean? When you said you know how I feel?"

"Can I tell you a secret, Finn?" Blaine asked. Finn nodded, wondering what secret Blaine possibly had that Kurt didn't know.

"I don't want to go to New York." Finn hadn't been expecting that. As far as he knew, everyone wanted to get out of Ohio. Finn didn't, but he hadn't told anyone that. The only time he'd mentioned it to Rachel, she told him he could do better than staying in Lima and taking over Burt's car shop.

"Does Kurt know?" All he heard Kurt talk about was how he and Blaine were going to move to New York together. With Rachel. There was the pain again. Before he could obsess over it, Blaine was talking again.

"You know Kurt," Blaine said with a shrug. "I told him once, and he kind of laughed it off. He just assumes I'm going to change my mind. But my life is here – well, Westerville. I don't _want_ to sing my whole life. Or act. I want to take over my dad's medical practice – he's a dermatologist. I want to go to medical school in Ohio, and then move back here and start a family."

"Dude, that would be awesome!" Finn tried to give an encouraging smile.

"But I can't expect Kurt to give up his dreams for me, just like I can't give up mine for him. There's no relationship in that. I can just hope our love is strong enough to survive the distance."

"I don't think Rachel even loves me enough to try," He confessed. They weren't as hard to say as he thought they would be, but they stung. He loved Rachel. So much that he would do anything for her. It was only now that he was starting to realize that it wasn't enough for just one person to be committed.

There had been so many clues, but it was when she told him she had stuffed the ballot box that he really realized what was going on. And then she'd confessed, ruining her record and jeopardizing her chance of getting in to college, that it really hit home. She said she loved him, but would she have done that for him? He wanted to say yes, but inside he knew that wasn't true. Like everyone else, she considered him just another Lima loser.

"Rachel and Kurt are self-centered," Blaine said. "But you can't know –"

"Yes I can," Finn said. "I'm not a part of her future – Kurt is. She wouldn't do anything like she's done for Kurt for me. She wants me to change for her, but she doesn't want to change for me. And…She wouldn't be Rachel if she did, but still. It hurts. You know?"

"I know." Blaine agreed.

Saying everything out loud, instead of hurting more, suddenly made him feel better. So what if Rachel wouldn't get suspended for him? She had chosen him over all the other guys, and he didn't want to waste one minute of the time he had with her, especially since there was a deadline ticking down every second. If they were meant to be, there would be a way. And if not, then at least he could love her for as long as she would let him. And then whatever happened would happen. He could only hope she would love him enough to at least try to meet him half way.


End file.
